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The CRYPT Mag

Mushrooms
by Denise Parrott

> A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbour's house each month. Of course the lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

> When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.

> A few days before the big event Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay.

> She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive!"

> He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed."

> She said, "No, I don't want to do that because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison."

> Hubby replied,"I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."

> After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try, got in the truck and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog's) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty.

> Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long Susie watched him, and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

> The meal was a great success. After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize.

> About this time the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Susie's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."

> With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there.

> It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, they got out with their suitcases and a stomach pump and the doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped out their stomachs.

> After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left.

> They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, when about this time the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!"

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