/-lh0-" " X. 29\BestHeadlines2002.html
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Holy SHIT ...I'm out of Here
OH Well ...You humans are at War again. To be honest your little War is of no interest to me, But while lying relaxing on the Couch, I tend to pick up bits and pieces from the Telly.
It appears that this bad man called "DAMSAD" is the leader in a far off country called "Anorak", and for some reason he is being very bad to the other humans who live there ...They are called "Anorakies"
Now ...Britian and America decide to send in their armies to save all the "Anorakies" from "DAMSAD" ...Even although the "Anorakies" don't want saved and are quite content being mistreated by "DAMSAD"
However Blair and Bush (They own Britian and America) send in their troops and they Bomb, Shoot and Kill the Anorakies they are trying to save.
Now I dare say the Anorakies prefer us killing them, rather than "DAMSAD" being bad to them, And if they didn't ...Well to bad ..We did it anyway.
Britian and America even bombed "DAMSAD'S" Home in a city called "DADBAG" ...Totally destroying his Kennel.
Now Blair and Bush say ...We are justified in doing all this, Because "DAMSAD" and his Anorakies have weapons of MASS Destruction.
Nobody has explained to me WHY they would want to kill people going to MASS ...So I suppose they must be RANGERS Supporters.
Anyway the War is over .. The Anorakies have been beaten, DAMSAD has packed his DADBAG and disappeared.
So now perhaps clean living DOGS like me can get a decent sleep again.
'-lh0- B. 29\eyetest_1.html>Three men are sitting in the maternity ward of a hospital waiting for the imminent birth of their respective children. One's an Englishman, one a Scotsman and the other a Jamaican. They are all very nervous and pacing the floor.
All of a sudden the doctor bursts through the double doors saying "Gentlemen you won't believe this but your wives have all had their babies within 5 minutes of each other."
The men are beside themselves with happiness and joy. "And", said the doctor, "They have all had little boys." The fathers are ecstatic and congratulate each other over and over.
" However, we do have one slight problem," the doctor said. "In all the confusion we may have mixed the babies up getting them to the nursery and would be grateful if you could join us there to try and help identify them."
With that the Scotsman raced past the doctor and bolted to the nursery.
Once inside he picked up a dark skinned infant with dreadlocks saying," There's no doubt about it, this boy is mine!"
The doctor looked bewildered and said, "Well sir, of all the babies I would have thought that maybe this child could be of Jamaican descent."
"True", said the Scotsman, "but one of the other two is f#*king English and I'm not taking the risk
Quick Eye Exam...
This will blow your mind...!
Just do it - don't cheat!!!!!!!!!!!!
Try this its actually quite good.
But don't cheat!
Count the number of F's in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE
RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS
Managed
it?
Scroll down only after you have counted them!
OK?
How many?
Three?
Wrong, there are six - no joke!
Read again!
FINISHED FILES ARE THE
RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS
The reasoning is further down...
The brain cannot process the word "OF".
Incredible or what?
Anyone who counts all six F's on the first go is a genius
Three is normal.
+-lh0-r r !Z. 29\fortune teller.htmh
Two old folks got married. As they were laying in their wedding suite, staring at the ceiling, the old man says, "I haven't been completely honest with you. I think the world of you, but you are only number two to me. Golf is my first love. It's my hobby, my passion, my first love."
They both stare at the ceiling for a bit then the woman said, "While we're baring our souls, I guess I better tell you that I've been a hooker all my life."
The man jumps out of bed, looks at her a moment then says, "Have you tried widening your stance and adjusting your grip?
When you're invited somewhere as "the guest," you really have a role to play, and it's an active one, not a passive one. You're there to enjoy yourself, but it's also up to you to make a positive contribution to the gathering. Here are some rules to fall back on when you're not sure
When you get a written or e-mailed invitation, R.S.V.P. Those letters stand for the French Respondez S'il Vous Plait which means "respond, if you please". It's courteous to let your hosts know for meal planning, seating arrangements, etc.
Arrive 10-15 minutes after the invitation time (but no later). This gives your hosts and/or hostess those last few minutes to prepare. Different parts of the country and different cultures handle time differently, but that's your best bet unless you know otherwise.
Check and see if children are invited. If they aren't, it's not fair to just show up with your kids saying you couldn't get a sitter. The hostess may not have child-proofed her house, or may have sent her own children over to the in-laws', or there may be a troublesome unfriendly dog in the house.
Don't arrive empty-handed. Bring along a nice little gift with you -- a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, a packet of printed cocktail napkins, a little inspirational book ... You can never go wrong when you do something thoughtful. But don't bring food; that's your hosts' province for the evening.
It's always polite to ask "May I bring something," if it's a dinner party. If they say "Yes," ask what they'd like you to bring - meat dish, side, dish, dessert.
Once you're there, offer to help in the kitchen and offer to help with the dishes. You may be told "no," but at least you asked.
My Dad used to tell me "Don't be a bump on a log!" Well, this applies to being a good guest. It's up to YOU to make it a party. Talk to someone who's alone, mix and mingle, make good conversation, do your part.
Introduce interesting topics of conversation - good movies you've seen, places you've visited. If you're stuck, ask the other person something - Do you have children? Did you get away over the [holidays]? Have you read [the latest bestseller]? Where do you work? Any of these questions will get the other person talking about their favorite topic - them! You'd be the most popular person at the party if that's all you did all night long!
Help in unobtrusive ways. Empty some ash trays, take abandoned dishes to the kitchen, whisk your hosts' kid off to the bathroom, pass around a plate of hot hors d'oeuvres. If you see something that needs doing, quietly do it. Your hostess has her hands full! At one party I gave, a candle caught fire in the den. I appreciated the guest who put it out, removed the tablecloth, cleaned up the mess, and then came and told me!
Don't overstay your welcome, no matter how much you're enjoying yourself. Why? You had a nap, got your nails done, watched the football game. They've been cooking and cleaning for days.
How do you know when it's time to go home? USE YOUR INTUITION. You may've been told 2-5, or just "come around 8", but your host and/or hostess will give off nonverbal signals when it's time for you to go home. They yawn, suddenly get up, start fidgeting and twisting, let the conversation lag, or even start doing the dishes! Get a clue!
SAY GOOD-BYE. Even if it's a large gathering, seek out the host and /or hostess and tell them good bye, and thank them!
Send a written thank-you note afterwards. It's just a nice thing to do.
Being a good guest means making a positive contribution to the gathering. And, oh yes, don't forget to have fun, because that's catching and everyone will appreciate it.
5-lh0- kI. 29\InterestingUselessFacts.htmlh(c)Susan Dunn, M.A., The EQ Coach, offers positive psychology coaching and Internet courses on emotional intelligence, resilience, change-proficiency, and strengths. http://www.susandunn.cc and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine, FREE Strengths course.
We remodeled our bathroom recently and when it was time to choose our switch plate covers, we were overwhelmed with the variety and prices of them. We wanted out-of-the-ordinary light switch covers but didn't want to pay the price -- and besides, we couldn't find any that matched our decor out of all that variety!
So what we did was purchase plain, unfinished wood, switch and outlet covers and I painted them to match our decor. We did our bathroom decor in jewel tone colors with brass accents so I decided to paint the light switch covers in dark blue with gold stars. We love the `custom homemade' look of the covers and it was very easy to accomplish. Below you'll find step-by-step instructions for how to do this.
Before beginning this project, decide on the color and design of your covers. Try to include colors and design elements that are already in the room then go purchase your materials.
Materials:
unfinished wood light switch and outlet plate covers
acrylic paint in your choice of colors
small foam stamps of your choice
spray clear acrylic (optional)
The covers can be found in do-it-yourself stores, while the remainder of items can be found in craft stores or craft sections in retail stores.
Instructions:
Prepare a work surface by laying newspaper down on a large area then...
1. Base coat the cover with the color of your choice. You will probably need at least a second coat, maybe a third. Let each coat dry before applying the next.
2. Stamp on your design. First, plan your design, then practice stamping. To do this, using a small paintbrush, paint the acrylic paint onto the stamp then press onto paper firmly but being careful not to turn it to get a smudge. Once you are comfortable with the feel of it, then go ahead and stamp your design onto the base-painted switch cover.
3. If desired spray with clear acrylic for protection and easy cleaning. This is best done outside on a piece of cardboard or newspaper. Let dry then put the covers on as usual (a good job for hubby). There are many other ways you can decorate these; sponge paint them, paint on free-hand designs, decoupage or whatever else may inspire you. This is just one idea to get your imagination going. Have fun with it.
About the Author: Monica Resinger is the founder and editor of The Homemaker's Journal, a FREE, jam-packed daily e-mail e-zine that publishes the collective advice of thousands of homemakers in all home and garden topics! Become a part of The Homemaker's Journal and get or share solutions to your homemaking problems! Join now by sending a blank e-mail to:
Are you still using your Amiga? Have you limited Menory? ... Like all Amiga users, I am burdened by the constraints of 2 meg of chip ram ...Even although I have installed 32 Meg of Fast ram, I find that through constant use of various programs, The memory slowly get eaten up ... Eventually You might even experience a Crash because of insuffient CHIPRAM.
I wrote this little script in order to gain the memory used by the tasks but not deallocated so my Amiga every time after using an application was using a small amount of memory instead of the total available. I found most tools for this purpose but I was not satisfied! For this reason I decided to write this useful and simple script... MagicFlush is born!!! :) Now I have decided to give MagicFlush to the Amiga community. I sincerely hope you will find my MagicFlush very useful :-)
Any Amiga
KeyPressed in C: (Included)
very safe
modifiable using a simple text editor
very very simple
uses the commands Avail and Wait
may be killed keeping pressed the key F6 for 4 seconds
Simply you have to:
copy KeyPressed to C:
copy MagicFlush to Sys:WBStartup
reboot your Amiga
"-lh0-: : #. 29\quiz.html0Well it sound good!, However many programs profess to save you memory, So how will MAGICFLUSH stand up to a small test.
Right Using my Amiga 1200 I rebooted MINUS MagicFlush and noted my total memory figures, ThenI opened PPaint and ImageStudio. Having these Two screens in the background I opened and started Miami to go onlne ...Then as a good test I opened Ibrowse and went to www.google.com.
OK so I am online with the Search engine on screen and PPaint/Image Studio running in the Background ...Time to compare my memory usage:-
ChipRam FastRAM 1607544 30677512 (Total after a reboot) 443432 25517912 (all programs running) Now we close the Programs down and back to a plain Workbench Screen ChipRam FastRAM 1593536 28696984 (Total with programs closed)
Mm ..As you can see (14008) CHIPRAM and (1980528) FastRam NOT Recovered. So How will the same procedure be USING MagicFlush?
MagicFlush Installed
ChipRam FastRAM 1607360 30677608 (Total after a reboot) 443400 25542072 (all programs running) Now we close the Programs down and back to a plain Workbench Screen ChipRam FastRAM 1606024 29334136 (Total with programs closed)
This time the memory NOT recovered was (1336) CHIPRAM and (1343472) FASTRAM ...Quite a difference!
Infact having MagicFlush installed I recovered 2672 CHIPRAM and 637056 FASTRAM more than I would had it not been installed.
Conclusions
MagicFlush really does work, and can return a lot od memory normally eaten up during the Usage of various Programs on your Amiga.
MagicFlush is now firmly installed in my Workbench Startup Drawer, A great little program that EVERY Amiga user should have installed.
Download MagicFlush Now
ftp://de.aminet.net/pub/aminet/util/wb/MagicFlush.lha
*-lh0-H H S. 29\SteamCorner8.html1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
How did you do?
Click for Answers
Until now, we've only covered standard gauge railway operations. In this edition, I'll attempt to focus attention on the narrow gauge systems, of which the main line was fairly dependant for supplies of raw materials. By far a most important aspect of Britain's Industrial backbone, these scaled - down railways were, and still are, an important life-line to those residing close to one. No more so than in a few examples that I'll now give. We also have a story from Tom Knowles, a friend of ours involved in the restoration bid for 576, which we've covered recently, from the U.S.A.
The R.H.&D.Rly., set in the marshes of Kent, is a main line in miniature. The majority of their locos are based on Gresley A1 pacifics, interspersed with two Canadian Pacific locos and other continental designs. This would lead one to think that the instigator of the line was well travelled, and ordered locos to be built that had impressed Captain Jack Howey.
The Duke of York drove the first train to New Romney, and the line even played it's part during WW2! Not only did they run an armoured train complete with anti-tank rifle and a pair of machine guns, but the R.H.&D. provided an unexpected defence against the Lufftewaffe. This was bought about by the physical size of the railway, which led German pilots within dangerous altitudes, thinking the railway to be of "normal size", and their instruments to be faulty.
Far from being just a tourist attraction, the railway caters for 200 odd schoolchildren a day between Dimchurch and Romney. Services are daily between April and September, and October half-term; at weekends during March and early October. For further details, give them a ring on 01797 363256 / 362353.
Set against breathtakingly beautiful scenery, the narrow gauge railways of Wales make a most imposing sight. Despite the huge numbers of tourists that flock to see and ride these astonishing railways, the locals see them as a major form of transport. There are many preserved lines, and all play their part in every day life, despite the demise of the slate industry that they once served.
Something unusual about this line is that from it's conception in 1903, it had been intended for general usage, including passenger traffic. The line closed in 1931, after succumbing to road transport, since which preservationists have re- established the line; a job made more difficult after the bridge over the River Banwy was seriously damaged in storms that winter.
A public responded to an appeal fund, and army engineers provided much needed help.
Regretfully, the link with the Shrewsbury-Aberystwyth line, passing between the houses in Welshpool has been lost, due no doubt to insurance difficulties.
Motive power on the line is now a strange mixture of continental locos and the two original tanks, The Earl and The Countess; all of which have a serious task with the 1 in 29 gradient out of Welshpool. For details and timetables, ring 01938 810441.
Operating from Aberystwyth to Devil's Bridge, this 1' 11" gauge railway was the last steam-operated line on the British Railway network until 1988, some twenty years after steam had left the B.R. main line system. Purchased by the Brecon Mountain Railway, it was subsequently operated since April, 1989.
Livery of the coaching stock reveals the line's origins as being at one time G.W.R. property. The line opened in 1902, and discovered a tourist potential from the word "Go". For much of the line's 11 3/4 miles, it clings to hillsides, and is best viewed in spring or mid-autumn.
Services run April and October-daily, except Monday and Friday; May-Saturday to Thursday; June to August-daily. Further information is available by phoning 01970 625819.
This must surely stand proud in the plethora of preserved railways, being the first of a great many to run by volunteers in 1951, only a year after the inaugural meeting in Birmingham.
The Talyllyn set a precedent around the world for a "living museum". Whilst referring to museums, the Talyllyn has recently acquired lottery funding of 682,500 for an extension to Tywyn station, which will include a new site for the narrow gauge museum. It is hoped that the move will improve the visitor figures to the museum due to direct access from the trains.
The 2' 3" gauge line runs following the south side of the River Fathew, mostly contained by Snowdonia National Park, and provides access to the falls at Dolgoch and slate quarry workings. Motive power consists of seven radically differing locos, including the original two, and services provided are :- daily-late March to October, Sundays-mid February to late March. Tel: 01654 710472.
Unique in being Britain's only rack railway, the Snowdon Mountain Railway began operating on 6th April, 1896. That day transpired to be not a good one, as a loco de-railed and succumbed to the mountainside. After the fitting of safety devices and another year, services resumed, and the line's safety record has since been un-blemished.
Evidence of Swiss engineering can be found by a study of existing steam locos and pointwork, though the addition of four diesel locos from Hunslet of Leeds has provided a flexibility hitherto unknown to services in recent times. A note here for the un-familiar; take warm clothing - the weather can be most changeable, and to ensure a seat, take the same train back from the summit (that gives a half-hour to view) ! A service runs daily from mid-March to the end of October. Tel: 01286 870223.
Since the line's conception was primarily concerned with the production of slate, the Llanberris Lake Railway provides a chance to view the Welsh Slate Museum, which is to be found adjacent near Llanberris. The motive power consists of three 1' 10 3/4" gauge steam locos, which once earnt their keep at Dinorwic Quarries, though the line was built on what was originally known as the Padarn Railway, originally constructed at 4' 0" gauge. Trains are run daily from April to September, and on selected days in March and October. Tel: 01286 870549.
The Ffestiniog has in it's past made a significant impact in global railway history, having caught and held the interest of a Russian Tsar, Count Bobrinsky, who was in awe of the use of steam locos on a 1' 1 1/2" gauge railway-the first to do so in Victorian England.
A gentleman, one William Maddocks, constructed the "Cob"; a large embankment across the Traeth Mawr, creating a harbour later used as a dock for slate shipment at Portmadog.
Running between Portmadog and Blaenau Ffestiniog at a distance of 13 1/2 miles, the Ffestiniog opened in 1836, using horses uphill, and gravity downhill, the horses travelling in 'dandy' wagons. The industrial revolution soon caused the manager, Charles Spooner to commission London engineers George England & Co. to produce four miniature locos for the line - the first ever for commercial usage in that gauge. 1863 saw the first two arrive, the other two in 1864. By 1865, the slate trade was slacking, and passengers were carried for the first time officially.
In 1870, trials were held with a James Fairlie double-bogied loco, and later bogie passenger coaches. Descendants of the original loco still work today, one having been manufactured as recently as 1990.
The line bears two interchange points with the main line, one at Minffordd, and another at Llandudno Junction. Details are available on 01766 512340.
Built partly on the trackbed of the ex. standard gauge Merthyr Tydfil to Brecon line, the line sports four steam locos. Two of these from South Africa, one from former East Germany, and the last of British heritage. The Graf Schwerin- Lowitz, built in 1908, is the most used of all, and beautifully kept. For details, telephone 01685 722988.
There's a mysterious attraction about a railway running alongside water, and none less so than the Bala Lake, which has proposed plans to extend at Bala. The plan involves a new station, due to the lack of access and facilities at the present terminus. Re-opened in 1972 in stages, the line covers 4 1/2 miles of trouble-free sightseeing around the lake, and the signal box, dated 1896, is usually open to the public.
A note for the would - be angler here; the lake is home to Gwyniad, a primitive species of fish which have been protected since 1988. Details are available on 01678 540666.
"All of engine management is deeply intriguing, including the waking of a sleeping beast.
Coaxing an engine into steam and ready to go into a smooth start and managing the regulator and reverser are some things that require both a talent and practice. Until one has their hands on a Throttle (regulator) , it is unknown how much "pull" one must exert to get it to move, and when it moves, how much is enough? Every engine is a bit different, even of the same class.
As you may have guessed, I have some engine experience, and I will write down the memories of first trips and odd problems. Here is one in particular that tested my ability to the maximum one day. I had the down train in tow, and our rather heavy 0-4-0 T (55 tons, US) managed to break a rail as we passed over a poorly supported section. The coaches came along nicely, as we were moving slowly at the time but the rail curled up against our return. I was totally unaware the rail had given way, but the rear guard saw it as we finished passing. The engine was such a noisy place, I never heard the report of it's having broken. I was advised upon reaching our destination. There was no passer (passing loop) at the end, so we had to push back up the hill.
On return up the hill, (about 1 in 50 here) I approached the spot marked by the dropping of a flag as we passed before gingerly, sitting on the edge of the cab window looking back.
Hanging on to the throttle with one hand, and reaching around myself for the brakes was a contorted way to run a railroad. Our rear end crew landed on the ground equipped with pry-bars and blocks of wood, and signalled me to stop. Shortly, with hand signals I eased the train one wheel at a time over the broken section.
There were some very tense moments as we had to move the train an inch at a time against steam and brake applications judging the moves by hand signals. Fortunately the damaged section was on the engineer's side. We had to orchestrate the special signals ahead of time for the unusual circumstances. I remember how particularly hard it was to gain an inch and hold it without gently coasting back down-grade as each wheel was coaxed across the break. It was some better as each coach, then the locomotive inched across the spot and the crew on the ground came closer and closer to me.
The heavy engine, with axle loadings of a BIG BOY were of particular concern especially since the wheels were worn past their limits and had very sharp and high flanges. Extra ties (sleepers) were wedged in under the breach to support the weight and we managed a clean get-away. Of course, this threw us way off schedule, but the riders were greatly relieved when they re-boarded on the other side and were saved from a long walk home.
Congratulations were in order and proffered with great earnest! Needless to say, operations for the rest of the day were suspended till a new rail could be installed and more ties inserted.
I think I lost a few pounds due to sweat this day, as it was the middle of summer and the cab of a steam locomotive is hardly a cool place any time.
Much later, the engine had it's wheels refurbished due to another different but strange episode. That is another story, and a good one, too! For lack of lubrication, one of the roller bearings on a driving axle decided to lock up at the half way point on a 6 mile run. Passengers were not so lucky that day. This is the "stranded" episode mentioned below.
Subsequent back-woods repair is an epic of its own in the telling, and constitutes the last official act of the steam shop lathe and press at Beech Grove, Indiana (Ex-New York Central) in the repair by replacement of the blown bearing and turning of the drivers to a renewed, FRA profile.
Other such stories are "Flue sheet Breach", "Re-flueing at midnight", "Don't drink the number two Diesel fuel", "Stranded!", "Removal and repair of driving wheels", "Never study a pop (relief) valve at close range on a hot locomotive", Stuck whistle, no shut-off valve", "Balky air pump" come to mind. Interested?
Interested? I am, and I hope you are too, as this article will contain them, as and when he sends.
I'll be looking at other examples of narrow gauge railways next time out, and look forward to you joining us for a regular steam-fix.
1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice Mail
Never answers your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
10. MOST IMPORTANT!!!:
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
A is for arthritis
B is for bad back
C is for the chest pains. Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention and not to forget other gastrointestinal glitches)
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches, and lots of incisions
J is for joints, that now fail to flex
L is for libido--what happened to sex? Wait! I forgot about K!
K is for my knees that crack all the time
(But forgive me, I get a few lapses in my M-memory from time to time)
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
O is for osteo-for all the bones that crack
P is for prescriptions, that cost a small fortune
Q is for queasiness. Fatal or just the flu? Give me another pill and I'll be good as new!
R is for reflux--one meal turns into two
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears on how to pay my increasing medical bills!
T is for tinnitus--I hear bells in my ears and the word "terminal" also rings too near
U is for urinary and the difficulties that flow (or not)
V is for vertigo, as life spins by
W is worry, for pains yet unfound
X is for X ray--and what one might find
Y is for year (another one I'm still alive).
Z is for zest. For surviving the symptoms my body's deployed, and keeping twenty-six doctors gainfully employed.
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
*116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
*Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
*Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
*November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
*Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
*Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name?
*Albert
8) What color is a purple finch?
*Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
*New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
*Orange, of course.
A blonde was driving home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a bad hail storm. The hailstones were the size of golf balls. Her car was dented beyond description.
The next day, she took it to a repair shop. Noticing that she was blonde, the technician decided to have some fun. He told her to take the car home and blow real hard into the tailpipe and the dents would pop out.
When she got home, she started blowing into the tailpipe as she was instructed. At that moment, her blonde girlfriend drove by and saw her puffing on the tailpipe.
Thinking the worst, the friend was startled and said, "What are you doing?"
She said that the man at the body shop told her to blow into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.
Her girlfriend said, "Well, duhhhhhh! You need to roll up the windows first!"
Want to burn professional looking CD-R's ...Is there anything worse that Burning a CD and then spoiling to whole outlook by scribbling the name on it with a marker pen? Now you can achieve excellent results with the CD-R Printer.
Printable area: 74 mm x 16 mm each You can select one of the handy three label forms, for music, for data and for digital images.*Simple to use , simply connect to Laptop or PC USB port
*Professional finish, prints directly to disc surface
*Data can be imported direct from the PC for high-speed printing
*4 colour printing, (black, red, blue, silver)
*The package includes easy-to-use original TDK software
You can also select the free design form and use your own drawings or photos to create a unique label.
Kit includes:
- Printer
- USB cable
- Power lead
- Windows software
- TDK Speed-X 80 min CD-R
- 1 black thermal cartridge
- Instruction manual and `quick start' guide
Repalcement cartridges available:
A20AR black ink
A21AR red ink
A22AR blue ink
A23AR silver ink
Did you ever see the bunny cakes in the grocery store bakery department? If you have, you may have noticed that they can be expensive. I'm going to tell you how to make your own so you can save money. You'll need:
any flavor cake mix
a round cake pan
white frosting (purchased or homemade)
stiff construction paper in white, black and pink
glue
Optional:
Easter grass
jellybeans
shredded coconut
Prepare the cake mix according to package directions and bake it in the round cake pan. Most cake mixes make enough batter for two round cake pans; therefore you can make two bunny cakes or make cupcakes with the rest of the batter if you only want to make one bunny cake.
After the cake has cooled, remove it from the pan and cut the circle in half. With white frosting, frost the bottom of one of the halves generously, then stand the two halves up on their cut side on a plate or cake stand and push the two bottoms together so the frosting is in the middle holding them together. Now frost the whole thing. It should look like a half circle standing on a plate; this is the body of the bunny.
For the eyes, cut two round circles out of white construction paper, then two smaller circles out of black construction paper and glue each black circle onto a white circle. Stick the eyes onto the frosting on the front of the bunny body (one of the narrow ends).
For the ears, cut bunny ear shapes, in proportion with the body, out of white construction paper. Cut smaller bunny ear shapes out of the pink construction paper and glue them onto the white ones to make the center of the ear. When glue has dried, insert the bottom of the ears into the frosting about an inch above the eyes.
For further decoration, lay Easter grass around the cake, place jellybeans on top of the grass and put coconut on the frosting of the cake as bunny hair. This cake makes a nice centerpiece for your table.
Use it with a vase of in-season flowers and there you have it.
)r-lh0- . 29\emailPrayer.html^About the Author: Monica Resinger is the Editor of The Homemaker's Journal, a jam-packed daily e-mail e-zine that publishes the collective advice of thousands of homemakers in all home and garden topics! Become a part of The Homemaker's Journal and get or share solutions to your homemaking problems! Join now by sending a blank e-mail to: HomemakersJournal-subscribe@yahoogroups.com